Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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