Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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