I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
