On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
