At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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