I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
