The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
did you just send me my own nude
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
