I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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