Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Its about making memories worth repressing
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
