I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize