waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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