I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
