we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
