I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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