im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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