She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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