Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
