Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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