My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
