Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
