obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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