I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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