i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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