marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
