i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
