so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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