glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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