Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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