Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I wish I could teleport

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(207): View more from Maine

it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.

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(517): View more from Michigan

I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.

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(917): View more from New York City

"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro

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(330): View more from Ohio

It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.

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(586): View more from Michigan

Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing

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(407): View more from Florida

Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.

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