Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
