I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
