You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize