Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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