Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
