I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
