She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
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