dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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