Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize