i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
