I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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