Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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