I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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