Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
then he tried to convert me to islam
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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