this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
