And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
im holly from the hills drunk
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
