she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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