dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
