It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
