dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
