There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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