Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
