I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
