Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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