we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
