Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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