Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
