Nicole vs. Life
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
