okay pat passed out under dana's car
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize