remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Randomize
