I want to stick my p in your. b.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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