It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
