I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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