oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
