dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
